All the fuss about the “6.5 kms of confusion”, as one user of the BRT corridor addresses it, is not deterring the Delhi government to use this vehicle to solve the commuting woes forecasted in Delhi. It might be recalled that Delhi is expecting it’s population to increase by more than 10 million people, 2 million dwelling units and more than 50,000 families migrating into Delhi every year. Add more than 1000 vehicles being registered in Delhi (PER DAY) and the increasing affluence in the surrounding cities of NCR. The perfect recipe for chaos is ready.

What do the planners chose? Pretend unpreparedness & do an “ostrich act”? Maybe, no. Some quarters of the planners and intellectuals decide to act, and work on the Delhi Master plan MPD 2021. The MPD 2021 document was notified by the government way back on Feb. 2007 vide the S.O No. 141. The government of India gazette notification is available for the public on the official websites of DDA and other agencies. It is no longer a mystery document. The MPD details are available online too. Lo & behold, the political class did not change the stance, and continue to drag it’s feet on three critical components of management – RESEARCH, RESPOND, REFORM, REGULATE & REGISTER.

Some sense seems to be returning back. Work on the ground is visible again with multiple agencies putting together their resources to make the change, before the change becomes the mess.

Now specifically to the BRT corridors under proposal – Are they required, or aren’t they? The Delhi government think tank seems to find merit that the BRT is the way forward. If I have to add a rider, it would be a caution flag not to repeat the mistakes of the Ambedkar stretch till Moolchand, and to factor in the gargantuan nature of the problem, growing on a daily basis.

RITES carried out the need & feasibility analysis, and seems to deduce that Delhi would require another 375 kms of BRT. Holy cow !!! 375 similar to 6.5 would be suicidal. Nevertheless, as facts stand, 5.6 kms would be added to the existing BRT corridor, and 16 new corridors totaling almost 369 kms would be added over the next 11 years. No one is yet questioning on the funding mechanism for these. Remember, these are internal city roads, and not toll expressways.

Most identified stretches, per estimates, would carry a vehicular traffic of more than 5000 units per hour, in either direction.

The longest of the recommended stretches would be from Khera – Najafgarh – Ibrahimpur whereas the fastest and shortest BRT corridor would be from Rohini sector 21 to Kanjhawala. Now, that seems to be some integrated development, since the government is already planning a couple of Large Hospitals, government housing projects and other social infrastructure in Kanjhawla. Besides, kanjhawala has one of the most sought after, and neat extended abadi Lal Dora areas in Delhi. It augurs well for the region that infrastructure & housing would be developed simultaneously.

Fingers crossed, but my bet seems to be in favour of the Government. Soon, dreams might be reality.

Circa 2008 – We release a movie called Love story 2050…. Very RUSTIC… sorry, I meant FUTURISTIC…. sorry… I take back my words… It was so much rubbish I am told that it won’t even rust… rotten don’t rust.

Hey!! That wasn’t the topic of my post… I wanted to share how designations have metamorphosised… hic!!! I misspelt again. Anyhow, let me get to the point.

Mr. Subroto Bagchi calls himself the Gardner, though he is an equity holder in Mindtree.

Mr. Narayanmurthy—poor man is relegated to be just a chief mentor.

Mr. Sahara shri is nothing but a managing worker.( not MD)

Cisco India has Wim Elfrink as the chief globalization manager, while Tracy Ann Curtis is the senior manager for diversity & Inclusion. 

Kalpana Veeraraghavan is now the Work life integration leader at IBM.

I am told that perfectly sane technology companies have key positions as Director of People success, Chief privacy officer, Chief competitive officer, vision-holder cum vice chairman, chief beverage server (the one who serves tea on the desk), four wheel manager (car driver), chief impression manager (receptionist), loss prevention manager (security), inlet-outlet minder (doorman) – I think I exaggerated the last one….. the others are all true.

While I have been trying to eavesdrop into the boardroom of many of these corporate, and fantasize on how each of the above senior people would have convinced their peers on the role change, there seems to be a problem of plenty at the bottom.

Earlier, there used to be one CEO and a few gardeners, on the lawns. Now, there would be a few gardeners on the top floor, and a few ‘vegetation managers’ at the gate. As the vegetation managers tend to the flora, the chief privacy officer ensures that the chief typo-speller(the stenographer) does not accept any illegal gratification (read emotional expressions) from the chief of the chief of wheel managers (the transport incharge). All this while, the chief of vision (bespectacled, of course) peers through the reams of excel sheets that the chief of mathematical delusions(CFO) and chief alliance interpretations(HR) together have offloaded onto this chiefs laptop. He calls in his chief of understatement of the cyber space(CTO) and commands him to explain him how the damn PC works… this chief calls in his chief of understanding the understatement (the CIO) and seeks assistance. Finally, the chief of the fuccha brigade (trainee) is summoned who checks through the various analysis & reports and comes up with the inference – THE BATTERY NEEDS TO BE RECHARGED!!

Hey Gardner? Not you sir… I am talking to the one who tends the vegetation… no not you sir trying to pluck a strand of hair from the forehead of the chief typist… not you sir.. then one with the pink pants trying to mentor the muscular trainee… yeah.. right… the one with the hose and spade in the hand… can you please look at the creeper on my window which has completely blocked the daylight off my window??? Whew… I never knew that the gardener attracts so much attention… hey!!! Is that a surname??? Is it like Kim in Korea now, in corporate India.

I have 10 in my company.

Whew !!! too many chiefs now…. sometimes, I feel like lost in the USA of the 19^th century when there were more chief with fancy names than Horses….

I sometimes wonder what would have prompted these changes??? Why do I still have an outdated designation on my visiting card??Why am I still known as the founding Partner?

 Can I not try and convince my management to make me the chief of cerebral masturbation and verbal diarrhoea? Can I address my good friend & colleague Ajay Dabas as the chief of Blabbering untruths and effecting growth (he incidentally is responsible for business development).

It is 01.30 am and I need to get to my bed as my tormentor in chief (wife) and chief of pissing in the sleep(2 year old son) both await me. Will complete this piece shortly.

A slew of big management jargon were thrown at the hapless ‘aam admi’ over the past few weeks leading to the IPL auctions. Men, women and not so lucky were kept wondering on what these had a connect with cricket. Yours humbly though exposed to words like valuations, value, physical properties, features, team specifications, leadership blah & blah was quite amused.

 Many of those found uttering these through professionally worded PR jaunts weren’t actually practitioners. Many, most actually, had a strong connect with the Real estate Industry, which by design, isn’t acknowledged to be the most professionally run multi billion industry, where the demand outstrips supply.

 My questions kept getting bigger, as Mr. Modi’s grin. Of course, he made it seem as if $50 Million was the tip left on the table, post dinner. Nevertheless, factor of intrigue was the REAL estate connect of most (all??) the bidders. A few names or contenders who wanted to be part of the IPL renewed – Videocon, JayPee, Adanis, Sahara, Rendezvous, players in the earlier Pune & Ahmedabad consortiums, Kochi consortium, ICICI etc.etc. Even the Tinsel world contributions came from those who are known to use Real estate as the preferred investment product.

 Now, What is common between IPL & Real estate? Err… I mean, does IPL also have the same traits as real estate industry? Bhai, then tho it is another pakka bubble in the blowing… it would take a few down only after attaining a few billion dollar worth of valuation as well as swell the numbers first.

 Now, isn’t this the same industry which was asking for “Bailouts & Sops” a few months ago? Wasn’t this the same industry which wanted their buyers to wait patiently till their hard earned money see fruition? Wasn’t this industry wanting more money to complete projects? Wasn’t this the same industry which resisted regulation.. now.now.. I don’t want to get into the merits of the RE regulation bill.

 On a generic level, what is it that attracts the companies with a real estate connect to such events? Is it the holding pattern of most RE cos? (promoters own most shares, family run etc.) OR is it the genuine risk appetite. Is IPL planned to be run like the RE indistry, or would RE draw motivation from IPL. (slam-bang-thank-U-maam with the bechara buyer)

 Whatever so, the wait continues for the aam admi coz he has already paid half the money for the dream flat, and won’t even dare to ask questions to the Real estate developers, whether they have water harvesting or not. Sentiment and blessings always with the Real estate developers, from aam admi so that he could complete quickly and then go & play ^%$#@&*.

 Keep wondering, deciphering and finding your own truths.

This is no reflection on the credibility of those who are cash rich and buying teams. Musings only. Disclaimer is almost 150 pages, hence not posting here

 My friend and colleague Ajay Dabas does quip ponderously that “Delhi was built majestically by the British who never has 10-20-30 year(s) announced masterplans as a futuristic city, esp. focussed on the quality of lifestyle of the inhabitants. Politics of development,, coupled with the serious intent of the class divide brought in inward looking master plans which created Delhi into an urban slum over the past 50 years”.

Sets me thinking – What is it that the British had which we Indians haven’t been able to replicate.

Answer seems to be – “POSITIVE INTENT & TIME BOUND IMPLEMENTATION”

I am not once confused by the British intent Vs. Desi leaders’ direction. Both desired a certain vested interest, as well as the emphasis of their leadership on the so called “aam-janta”. To say the least, both succeeded, and how. Delhi hasn’t created any marquee landmark building, and still boasts of those that the British left for us, to savour, deteriorate and exploit. I have my sense of exasperation when I read that 54% of Delhi is Urban slums and unauthorized colonies.

A spate of recent announcements in Delhi sets me thinking – “are we finally ready to shed the image of an old dilapidated city, one constructed majestically by the British, and left to rot even more majestically”. However, things seem to be changing. Delhi government agencies seem to be taking the “Builder” tag seriously. Moti Bagh, Jawaharlal Nehru Bhawan, Maulana Azad marg, Janpath, INA, Shahdra, Kidwai Nagar, Vasant Kunj, Rajouri Garden and some more areas seem to have caught the attention for rebuilding projects.

• Is that owing to the acute shortage of Ministerial houses?

 • Do our policy makers desire swankier offices?

• Do they expect mega parking & parks for their fleets?

• Is there a genuine awareness, awakening and desire to re-build Delhi.

It is heard that some areas of New Moti Bagh are shortlisted to build ministerial houses, and NBCC is the shortlisted partner who would not only build, but also fund the construction through a unique finance model wherein they would be allowed to sell 10% of the total land area for commercial purpose, in return for the ministerial housing. “The government is now open to the idea of making builders like us construct ministerial bungalows because they want the project to be delivered on time. Also, the government didn’t have funds for the project, so we came up with the idea of building them at our own cost and taking some land to build a commercial complex in return,” said Arup Roy Choudhury, chairman and managing director, NBCC. NBCC has already delivered 50 bungalows and the rest are expected to be completed in a year. Choudhury added, “Players like CPWD are quite understaffed so most of their projects suffer time overruns overtime, so the government is looking for fresh bidders who can have accountability.”

Other initiatives include 7.78 acres of land on Janpath under one of the Green building initiatives of the govt, an office complex in INA consisting of 6 blocks, one of which might house the HQ of CVC, another commercial complex in Kidwai Nagar, One residential pool accommodation project in Shahdra etc. The government is also planning a commercial complex in Kidwai Nagar, though no details are available. The cost expenditure for these projects alone would exceed about 600 crores, as per conservative estimates.

Can expect DDA to be left behind (in announcements only). They also have announced plans for housing complexes in Vasant Kunj Jasola, Dwarka, Narela, Baprola etc; a staggering 65000 residential units with an investment of almost $500 million. Parking lots in many areas like Subhash Nagar, Rajouri Garden, Hauz Khas, Gandhi Nagar, Model Town 2 and Munirka are already under construction with investments of around 200 crores . The project is worth Rs 170 crore.

Now, are these mirages or indicators?

Whilst Delhi as a city is crumbling, owing to the apathy of the administration, head counts increased through bogus employees et. all, the MCD has hit upon a unique proposition to better the Municipality functions, and bring about a qualitative change in the lives of Dilliwallahs, as per the Diktats of the MPD 2021. In this unique venture, the Kangraise (cong.) too has pitched in their quantum contribution. For the uninitiated, the Delhi MCD is led (literally) by the Bharteeyaa Junta Party (BJP) while the hand which stokes the lotus is in the opposition.

 Both our leading ‘partees’ want to name the newly constructed 28 storey Civic headquarters in the name of some leader of their party. It could be named either “Dr.Shyama Prasad Mukherjee Civic blah blah center” or Gandhi(Sonia,Indira, Rajiv, Rahul, Rahul’s unborn son)  center for invigorating a sense of work culture in Dilli-MCD center” or even plain jane “Gandhi center for civic administration”.

 The new 28 storey building, one of the tallest structures in Delhi costed a MERE Rs. 550 crores of the Tax payers money, and it is of ‘sacramount importance’ that it be named right, for the babu inside to dispense his constitutional duty.

 The Lieutnant Governor (LG) of Delhi is a spoilsport. He just doesn’t understand the sentiments of the aam-aadmi for whom sadak-bijli-paani is a daily fight. The LG has gone ahead and suggested our LEADERS to accept the name ‘NEW TOWN HALL”. How sad. How can now the aam aadmi connect with the civic agencies when the building says “My name is Town Hall”, a la Khan.

If the entire nation was involved in “My name is khan”, do you think that the Chief secretary’s office in Delhi would not accord importance to this issue of national importance?  Sources say that considerable time, paper n think tank exposure was accorded to this ‘issue of national interest’ since two of the parties which ruled us / likely to rule us are hooting for this yeoman cause. There also was an official statement published in the print. Here goes:

 “The L-G has suggested that such an iconic building should not be named after any individual. The ultimate onus of naming the building lies with the state government,” Ranjan Mukherjee, Officer on Special Duty to the L-G, said.

“Based on his (L-G’s) letter, we have written to the MCD commissioner to name the building New Town Hall. It is a befitting name as across the globe no corporation offices are named Town Hall,” Chief Secretary Rakesh Mehta said.

 Now, it is of no consequence that we have already missed the deadline of moving into the new civic center.(don’t blame me, it might be called the OSAMA – Obama, Sonia, Atal, MDMK,atmaram Building) Instead of April’10, the civic agencies would move in after October’10. This gives ample time to check out another submersible monsoons and powerless summer.

It is time we appreciate the stand taken by OUR LEADERS. Both parties remain committed to the aam-admi. They say this:

“The decision of the MCD House is final in this case. Our naming committee will pass a resolution under Section 42 of the DMC act. It will then be introduced in the House,” BJP leader Vijender Gupta said.

“The commitment of the Gandhi family cannot be measured in the context of India. Hence, anything new has to have the “G” word on it”, a close associate of Kaun-gress said.

Ladies & gentlemen of Dilli, take heart. We are being ably led, and civic amenities would follow.

 “Hey !!!! watch that manhole while U tread the roads”.