Quotes

• I banged my forehead at the entrance of the bar.The Barman mentioned ~”Arvind was here, the Bar has been lowered.”

•    The Clintons are the epitome of “equality in a relationship”. They try & become President by rotation.

•    Management Gyan ~ “Don’t allow people to drive you crazy, when crazy is within walking distance”

•    Last 3 days in Mumbai, I hit a Brick wall everytime I want to hurl an abuse. Delhi meanwhile has graduated to hurling real bricks…

•    Black money Bill passed in Parliament. Ramalingaraju granted bail. Jayalalitha acquited.

•    From brickbats to real Bricks All in day in Incredible-India

•    JudiciaLoL

•    थप्पड़ से डर नहीं लगता साहब, ड्राइविंग से लगता है |

•    Don’t look up, Look Left to have “intellectually sensible discussions” a la Rahul Yadav of Housing.com

•    Interviewer – Who was the first person in space? Gadkari – Yurine Gagarin
•    “All those who don’t believe in my philosophy, Go, Piss off” ~ Gadkari

•    मोदी जी “बेटी बचाओ” क्या लाये, कांग्रेस पार्टी ने “बेटा बचाओ” का ऐलान कर दिया

•    Early to bed, late to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy & KumarVishwas

•    I neither understand God, nor Electricity. In either case, I prefer not to sit in the dark..

•    IPL is so Indian – Thoda Khel, Thoda Gaali galoch, then a group meeting; while those not concerned are dancing on the sidelines

•    Road rage happens when Delhi drivers are rushing to contribute towards World Peace …

•    “Manny Pacquiao was a cakewalk. Now, I am scared of Kejriwal challenging me to a debate” ~ Floyd Mayweather

•    Make sure that the toes you step on today, are not attached to the ass you may have to kiss tomorrow. Happy Labour day !!!!

•    Television is called a medium coz it’s neither rare, nor well done ….

•    Why live in a past which never survived…

•    “बेटा, हर चीज़ जो Made in India हो, ज़रूरी नहीं वह सही निकले” ~ Sonia aunty

•    Dear Sakshi Maharaj, a closed mouth gathers no foot ….

•    Some people are experts at ‘Multi-tasking’. They can screw up multiple things at once ….
•    Research has revealed the two key reasons why people dont mind their own business. a) No business b) No mind

•    In times of crisis, ‘The argumentative Indian’ changes into ‘the complaining Indian’ .

•    Full marks to India’s disaster management & relief team landing in Kathmandu before irrelevant leaders start needling debates on prime time TV. That’s leadership !!!

•    “Never take a Ecstasy pill & a laxative together. ना आनंद रुकता है ना आंसू ” ~ Sri Sri Sri Ashutosh

•    Little birdie in the sky, dropped a Lie in my eye, Even the crocodiles wonder, why did Ashutosh cry ….

•    “We make Wise Presidents out of Vice Presidents” ~ Tourism Thailand

•    Vote for Kejriwal – It’s easier than thinking…

•    Today is World Copyright Day. * *No rights reserved

•    This special offer is for all ‘DeshBhakt leaders’ of tomorrow

•    Many who can’t even save their own Ass, walk around with a placard “Save the Earth” #EarthDay

•    Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Are U serious, Are U serious, Are U serious, for I have no clue…

•    Those who procrastinate, always have an exciting tomorrow !!!!

•    Cult (noun) bunch of self centered people, with not enough members to make a ‘minority’
•    The shortest pencil is more reliable than the longest memory !!!!

•    She – “You’re not our type.” Me – “Yeah, i am not inflatable!!!!

•    “Swami Agnivesh voted amongst 100 most influential people in the world”. Joke for the day done, now get back to work…

•    Management Gyan ~ “The absence of supervision improves creativity”

•    Entrepreneurship doesn’t build character; it eliminates the weak ones !!

•    Sanjay Jha is elevated to physics deptt. Of MIT. He is the subject of study of the ‘Noise’ department

•    I was away to find myself. If I return early, remind me that I am lost. #RahulReturns

•    Management Gyan ~ “Only the leading dog in a pack gets a good view.”

•    ‘Janata Parivar’ unifies under Mulayam SIngh. He has vowed to lead the nation into the 1950s

•    Save a penny, Save a tree, Save the Earth, Save the Tiger, Save the Whale Save the

•    Internet…… In this world of causes galore, Save your breath, save your Ass !!!

•    The secret of success is sincerity. Those who fake it well, end up successful….

•    Today is the last day of my life so far. Party nyu hi chaalegi !!!!

•    मी मराठी लिहा ** **status update in Marathi ensures no one protests outside your home…

•    There are 5 pillars of democracy – 1. Executive 2. Judiciary 3. Legislative 4. Paid media 5. Arnab Goswami

•    People learn from their mistakes. I learnt a lot today !!!

•    General VK SIngh lands in hot water when he walks on thin ice… #Presstitutes

•    Man has a will, woman has a way !!!

•    Maharashtra bans meat. Kerala bans liquor. Haryana should ban Chowmein now !!!

•    Stop masquerading your ‘righteousness’. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

•    Corporate Gyaan ~ “If you don’t hang in together, you hang separately.”

•    Drive carefully. It’s not just cars that can be recalled by their manufacturer.

•    “Your call is important to us, please be on hold”.. I wonder how long I would’ve to hold if my call is not important

•    Three secrets to staying young forever. 1. Live honestly. 2. Eat healthy 3. Lie about your age

•    It’s not hard to meet expenses …… they’re everywhere !!!

•    Emami replaces Yuvraj Singh with Giriraj Singh as brand ambassador for Fair & Lovely…

•    “Those who quote me on 01. April are fools” ~ Confucius

•    The axe may forget, the tree dare not !!!!

•    Note to self ~ “Think much, Speak little, Write less.”

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