Quotes

•    Party tho banti hai…. Pappu time pass ho gaya…

•    When leaders fall, Politics rises….

•    Intelligence is like the underwear, I presume you have one, don’t wave it in my face….

•    “My opinion is like Diarrhoea, just can’t hold it in” – TV news anchor

•    I don’t like liquor. I just like the way it smells … and tastes….

•    To understand life, Look backward. To live life, look forward.. To enjoy today, visit Abki Bar !!!!

•    I repsect those who understand spelling mistakes….

•    “Now that I am unemployed, I better sell my story….”

•    Exit Pole hurts

•    True to promise, political parties raise the employment rate in Varanasi. Morning Maa-Beta, afternoon Baap Beta, evening Cry beta, night Try beta….

•    Women empowerment, RTI, system, grandmother, process, Happy Mother’s day….

•    There was a mild earthquake in Indonesia this morning. I am not blaming Modi, but it seems like a coincidence…

•    “My performance is as good as my namesake” – Yuvraj

•    There are Two fools who lose money in the stock market; One asks few questions, the other too many…

•    Himesh Reshamiyya played Beethoven yesterday. Beethoven lost 21-18…

•    This sudden downpour in Gurgaon seems Phasist & Kamnal. I blame Modi for it..

•    Cell phones are also the only thing about which men sit around and brag who’s got the smallest…. (read somewhere)

•    If the grass on the other side appears Greener, they must be using ISI mark fertiliser…..

•    If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.

•    Astronomers have discovered a bright star which is visible from Planet Earth once in 5 years, emanates smokes & fire, and everyone’s talking about.. They have named it ‘Priyanka’ …

•    Rajani saar has joined Twitter. Character is a number <140 now. Mind it !!!

•    (Mis)Management Gyan : “Genuine lack of preparation cannot be substituted”

•    “Modi was the cause of Lehmann brothers crash, Crimea invasion by Russia and Global warming” – Sapil Kibal

•    “I cant play cricket, but my sister can be a good cheerleader. Please make me the Indian cricket captain” – Chetan Bhagat on Twitter

•    Scientists have unearthed the World’s oldest ‘Selfie’. It was clicked by Julius Caesar, featuring Advani…..

•    “Today is World Press freedom day” ~ Manish Tewari on Doordarshan

•    “Communal forces are defaming me. I am president of National Dyslexic association(DNA). Don’t believe? Test my DNA” ~ Abu Azmi

•    Even George Clooney & Digvijay Singh are throwing bachelor parties. Achche din aane wale hai….

•    Earlier : Reduce, Re-use, Recycle . Now : Refuse, React, Retweet #Earthday

•    Indian election spend = $ 5 billion Vegas GDP = $ 3.5 billion Now, who takes the “great gambler” crown?

•    Tomorrow, “Vadodara valour” vs “Vadra Velas” in the IPL (Indian Political League)

•    “Priyanka Gandhi not to contest the elections”. Finally, a Gandhi with a clear Exit plan…

•    Maha Bharata was about Mamashree & Bhanjeshree Modern Bharata is about Matashree & Jijashree.. Bahu is common in both stories

•    If Rahul marries in 2015, our search for PM candidate in 2045 would end….

•    I never waste time. I spend it on things I don’t need….

•    Life is as sweet as a Doughnut …. You are either in the Dough, a nut OR in the hole….

•    Now that all have posted Gyan about “Earth day”, we can go back to throwing Plastic bottles & Bags from the moving car…..

•    The sequel of “Revolver Rani” planned. Shazia signed up for “Motor-mouth Rani” …..

•    Shazia Ilmi – “I don’t know the meaning of Communal” Somnath Bharti – “I don’t know the meaning Racism” Ashutosh – “I doesn’t knews English” (from Twitter)

•    Sanjeev Kapoor is taking over the 9 PM slot from Arnab Goswami. “Cooking up & chewing” takes literal meaning now…

•    Even the greatest was once a beginner…..

•    Jay Iyer wrote on your timeline.

•    Dedicated to all drinkers…! Bhakt- He bhagwan, kya aap meri sharaab chhudwa sakte ho Bhagwan – Kyon nahi beta… . . . . . . . . . . Bhakt- To meri 12 botal scotch goa
•    police ne japt ki hai, wo chhudwa do.!! Bhagwan shocked

•    Only 40% voting in Bangalore so far. The polling booths are so crowded, no one goes there anymore…

•    Today, I have nothing to say, I say nothing.….

•    “I will crib & complain till the morale improves” ~ Kejri_Wail

•    If you haven’t been anywhere, it’s difficult to make a ‘comeback’…

•    Morality tell you to do what is Right, Religion tell you to DO, irrespective of what is right….

•    Most say life is not fair.. Life is unfair to all… That makes it fair, right?

•    Coffee with Karan, Chai with Charan, Toffee with Chhota Bheem….

•    After a serious speech @ Ahmedabad conference , a girl in the audience to me ~”I follow you on Fb, like your sense of humour” Me ~ “What FB? What humour? Maybe my account is hacked” She ~ “I think so too.” One of us definitely was lacking humour…

•    Abki baar, Rajni Saar…..

•    Any resemblance of your faith, to my reality, is unintentional and purely coincidental…..

•    In Ahmedabad to chat with many of the most evolved minds in Indian real estate….

•    Breaking news : The SPG caught a guy jumping over the walls of PM house. They counselled him “Sir, abhi 2 mahiney baaki hai”

•    “Accident”al PM – “Doctor, I can’t feel my legs” Dr. Sonia – “Your legs are fine, we just cut off your arms”

•    Dear client, If you don’t leave, how do I miss you..

•    If Mulayam is the answer, we idiots ask really stupid questions….

•    Breaking news : ‘Dolly the sheep’ was NOT the first mammal to be cloned. It was Abu Azmi…

•    Some Hens cackle as if they have laid an Asteroid, instead of an egg. Certain speakers at seminars are such…

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