Quotes

•    “Making a dumb excuse is easier than correcting a dumb mistake” ~ Akhilesh Yadav

•    Saudi Arabia policy….

•    Far too many people are wasting time reading the menu, than enjoying the buffet spread….

•    Religious leaders entering politics want to “righteously” lead our country into the 14th century !!

•    “My speech was a huge success, the audience was the failure”

•    “Riot Tourism” in progress !

•    Phata posterior, Nikla Hero !!!!

•    iPhone 4 was overheating. iPhone 4S come preloaded with an application called ‘Renuka Chowdhry’

•    Recession truly is here. Someone gifted me one half of a calendar and another half of a diary….

•    “Marendra Nodi is the kind of friend, who’s always there, when he needs you” ~ Advani

•    Some are on the edge; Some are over. I prefer hand-gliding…

•    kick the ass of the person responsible for your troubles, end up with a sore butt !!!

•    Age is the price you pay to attain maturity !!!!

•    For a change, Russia plans to export economic advisors. Syria’s ‘screwed’ !!!!

•    Modi teaching ABCD, Rahul selling dreams. India’s got talent !!!!

•    I don’t understand religion, I don’t understand electricity. I don’t stay in the dark either.

•    “I am willing to work under someone who has never had a real job”. And you thought economists talk numbers, not fiction !!

•    “If you’re feeling lonely, if you’re feeling blue, remember the mighty oak tree, was once a nut like you” ~ Anonymous

•    “The only job you start at the top, is digging a hole” ~ Anonymous

•    Never teach the skeletons in your cupboard, to dance !!!

•    Some people not just drive you crazy, but also make you pay for the petrol

•    “Manmohan speaks to Akhilesh”. एक कुछ कहेगा नहीं, दूसरा कुछ करेगा नहीं … #UPriots

•    L K Advani wants to chair the cabinet meeting. “That’s one meeting he always wanted to abstain from”

•    It’s not easy being difficult !!!!

•    Syrian dictator kills his people Chemically. 2. US invades Syria 3. Syrians get killed organically

•    Before Facebook was created, when we ‘Liked’ something, we actually did.

•    “Only 29% of Americans want the U.S. to attack Syria — which on the plus side means that 29% of Americans know there is a place called Syria.” –Stephen Colbert

•    What, money doesn’t motivate you? What does? Let me buy you that !!!!

•    Live in the past, lose your present !!! Detailed review tomorrow…

•    Saying : “Marriage is for the Better or Worse” Someone ignored the “Good” word….

•    What? ‘Unspread’ the rumor? Let me try ‘Unring’ the bell !!!!

•    Some teachers lack foresight. They could’ve prevented status updates like this.

•    Winners never quit, quitters never Win, Those who neither win, nor quit, are in BCCI

•    “Parliament should be accountable”. Good thought, but, who keeps the account?

•    “खुदा एक एहसास का नाम है, रहे सामने पर दिखाई ना दे ” #Vanzara

•    Drop the Samsung to the floor, phone breaks. Drop the Nokia, floor breaks. Watch out Syria

•    Excuse verb |ikˈskyo͞oz| [ with obj.] A common day consumption product, everyone manufactures on a daily basis, but hard as hell to sell

•    Everybody around me is willing; some willing to work, the rest willing to let others work…

•    Too many people give me respect. I feel like an honest failed politician…

•    I am painstakingly writing my book. All three things assured for the readers – Pain, stakes & Ungli

•    Yes, we can !

•    Moily-fy the Rupee….

•    To prove my pious nature, I am taking a wife. Haven’t yet decided on whose” ~ #Asaram

•    If you can read this sentence, you cannot contest the election….

•    “Trust in God, but keep the godmen away” #Asaram

•    When the going gets tough, the tough go to the parliament canteen.

•    Juvenile criminal’s prayer – “मोहे अगले जनम आसाराम कीजो ”

•    “While our closets have doors, our walls are made with wall paper” ~ Pradhan Mantri

•    “सुन रहा है ना तू, सो रहा हूँ मैं” ~ #Parliament

•    Tunda is a secular man. He installed an Indian ‘pacemaker’. Phir bhi DIl hai Hindustani

•    Management Gyan : “Don’t wear a ‘Lungi’ & climb the stairs of success”.

•    Land acquisition bill tabled in Parliament. Poor farmer Vadra, Bachchan & Pawar
•    happy….

•    I walked into the bar with Coal Tar. “One scotch for me, and one for the road”

•    If you haven nothing nice to say, you qualify to debate politics on prime time TV…

•    With the rupee tumbling, my company has asked us to name our salary. I named mine “Kalavati”

•    It’s not how hard you work, but what you achieve that matters…..

•    “Nothing to worry, it was just a mild Food bill poisoning” – AIIMS

•    When the going gets tough, the tough refer the matter to the standing committee….

•    Pune bound…..

•    The parliament hosted a lunch for all MPs. One MP asked the other – “Can you pass me the salt & pepper” Second MP – “We are in parliament, we pass nothing”

•    Wonder why people cant write correkt English…

•    If you can still do @ 40, what you did in your 20s, you didn’t do much in your 20s….

•    Tina Ambani – “I am a housewife & social worker” Judge – “कुछ लोग ना जाने कब acting सीखेंगे ”

•    All I ask is a chance to prove that “Money cannot make a man happy” ….

•    “There’s something about memory I had once. I don’t remember it anymore” – Anil Ambani

•    My mind is like …..a…a.. How the hell do you spell that thing?

•    Why? Because…..

•    Success stops when you do !!!!!!!!

•    “A picture is worth a thousand words”. The coal ministry just replaced some files with paintings..

•    Why Ronjon Sodhi? The Rajiv Gandhi khel Ratna award should be given to Maniac Shankar Iyer…. he plays well with words while shooting himself in the foot….

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