Quotes

•    If Hafiz Saeed is a respected Islamist ‘Leader;, I am Nelson Mandela

•    If two wrongs dont make a right, try three …

•    The good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings forth !!!

•    Matru ki Bijli ka Mangola !!

•    Duck……

•    I have already told you twice that I don’t repeat myself !!!

•    Health commandment – “Thou shalt not weigh more than your refrigerator”

•    Adam was the ideal husband, he never was embarrassed about Eve’s dress sense…

•    Aam Admi – “Beggars cant be choosers” Politicians – “Burglars cant be choosers”

•    A ‘Baba’ is the expert who gives you advice on all the troubles he hasn’t experienced !!!

•    “Let’s burn the bridges when we reach there” ~ Pak Army commander on Aman Ki Asha

•    Owaisi will reveal all in his biography “The Chronicles of Hernia”

•    How about sending Owaisi to Singapore for an organ transplant?

•    Talking in circles, won’t make you the big wheel !!!!!

•    However high the throne may be, a man still has to sit on his bottom……

•    “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s own ignorance” ~ Ass-aram Bapu

•    Walking on Water is easy, it’s the Alcohol which staggers me !!!!

•    WONDER DRUGS 4 MEN Created by WOMEN … Scientists beware! ANIVERSIA: Triggers memories of birthdays and anniversaries. SLIMOXIL: Widens male cornea
•    making wives appear slim. SPORTOBLIND X: Reacts with optic nerve to prevent men from recognizing the word “sports” on TV. WORKOCETAMOL : Generates an insatiable desire in men to do household chores. SHOPHOFOBEX : Makes men eager to take wives for shopping every week and wait patiently. FLIRTONATE-N : It makes a black covering in the eyes when a girl is passing by 🙂

•    Raj Thackeray movies presents “Main Khiladi, Tu Bihari” ……..

•    Where there is a wine, there is a way !!!!

•    News : People name their love life. Mine has a talibani name – “Seldom Bin Laiden”

•    “Bharat Vs India” debate is as relevant as the “Rice vs Chawal” argument.. saala, dimag ka Chowmein kar diya…

•    I found a great way to attract money… work! Curtis D. Tucker

•    Poor Akbaruddin Owaisi is so unwell in London that he has to frequent the Fine dining “Hyderabadi Spice” twice a day !!

•    Middle age is when the Doctor asks you to slow down, and not the Police !!

•    If money cant buy you happiness, even happiness cant buy you money !!!

•    Work Mantra 2013 : “Even a mosquito gets a slap on the back only when it sets about to suck blood”. People, go about your routine work now !!!!

•    With SRK acting in it, “Chennai doesn’t express”

•    Sign at IGI Airport for foreign women tourists : “Welcome to India. Set your watch 20 years back”

•    Economic prediction for 2013 – “The best time to buy anything was last year”

•    Whoever you kiss @ the stroke of midnight, would be your love for 2013. Guess it’s me & Scotch !!

•    One lost her life, many save their jobs, crocodile tears & candle lit vigils, if only they were precursors for hope !!!

•    Ratan’s retirement has to be taken with a pinch of Tata salt ~ Being Cyrus

•    Q : Sir, can we send Abhijit Mukherjee to Singapore for denting painting? A : Theek hai

•    We all need strength of belief to be happy. I believe that by the end of today, I would have to have a few drinks !!!!!!

•    when people are free to ‘do whatever they want’, they end up imitating someone…

•    We live in difficult times, walking on thin ice can land you in hot water !!!!

•    Indian cricket team too accommodates a “Damaad” … Sab TheekHai

•    Mera Bharat Mahaan, baaki sab Theek hai….

•    It’s so cold in Delhi today that even the Lawyers have their hands inside their own pockets !!!!

•    Politicians can get out of anything, but their office !!!! #delhiprotests

•    The 342 room Rashtrapati Bhavan, needs some room for empathy !!!

•    I am told that @ 5.30 PM today, Kejriwal would expose the corruption in Calendar writing by the Mayans…

•    an unfinished sentence is like a ……

•    The Mayans couldn’t predict their own extinction !!!!!

•    “This victory is dedicated to the computer imported by Rahul’s dad” ~ Modi

•    It is better to be alone, than to wish you were !!!!!

•    I can explain it to you, but cant understand it for you?

•    I love long walks, esp. if taken by those who who irritate me…..

•    If the early bird gets the worm, shouldn’t the worm be a late riser?

•    The quality of life is directly proportional to the quality of relationships…

•    कल भी एक कहानी थी, कल भी एक किस्सा होगा, हर माज़ी ने कल के लिए भी कुछ लिखा होगा !!!

•    When smashing the Mayawati statues, let’s save the pedestal…. We would require them to put someone else on !!!!

•    SInce both of us agree on everything, it’s apparent that only one of us is doing the thinking…

•    “a divided majority ensures that the united minority rules” ~ Politicians

•    “To prove my point in politics, I need some friends, and One enemy”

•    Entrepreneurship is ‘going with the flow’ while swimming upstream….

•    Dear Lobbyists, don’t Bullshit the government, they reserve the right to bullshit themselves !!!!

•    Everyone dies attempting to live forever…

•    Arnab – “What do you think about ………… ” Panelist – “In my opinion ….” Arnab – “When I want your opinion, I would give it to you”

•    “Dear Poonam Pandey, please mean what you say !!!” ~ Dhoni

•    “Honest criticism is hard, esp. if it comes from a Player, critic, expert, friend, stranger OR anyone who knows any bit about cricket” ~ Dhoni

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