Quotes

•    “All men are different, all husbands are alike” ~ Bhagwaan Gita

•    “This status update has been rejected for ‘Insufficient intelligence” -.Facebook

•    Management Gyan ~ “Don’t complain about the noise when opportunity knocks.”

•    I enjoy watching my 6 pack die. Am I a sadist?

•    Facebook allows you to retrieve updates of the past 5 years. Now, You can waste time learning how time was wasted over the past 5 years !!!

•    The latest ‘weight loss pill’ comes in ‘Rich Chocolate’ flavour !!!!

•    Corporate Gyan : “Just because it’s a well beaten path, it need not be the road forward.”

•    I have decided to live forever, or, die attempting it…

•    Management Gyan ~ “Those who can’t flaunt their education, are forced to use their brains.”

•    Corporate Pledge : “I won’t deceive, cheat, compromise or lie, unless, I want to remain employed.”

•    Everyone’s talking about technology, but “Technology can create an answering machine, it cannot attend to nature’s calls” !!!

•    Consider yourself middle aged when ‘Whatever’ is replaced by ‘it depends’

•    Caution : Contents of this page are deemed, and can only be settled out of court…

•    Sunday morning Lutyens’ ride..

•    I don’t blame the Rajya Sabha MPs. Had I been unemployed with perks, I too would’ve been as irresponsible !

•    IIT grads hired by Facebook have been warned against non productive distractions like Facebook accounts. Productivity policy !!!

•    Mamata di revealed the best kept secret of corporate India – “Bamboo”

•    Another productive day today. The Indian Parliament converged to govern adjournments..

•    All those who celebrated me getting a year older, may you all grow older every year…

•    Today is first day, first Monday, first of December. First things first, not exactly in the same order….

•    Overheard two ladies at a party ~”Look at all the men flocking around the bar. No one appreciates our preparations anymore”.

•    The PM wants the Police force to be SMART. Instead of the ability of covering the ass, the smart would better have their pants on….

•    Delhi wedding parties are all about Brand, Baaja, Baraat …

•    Gurgaon is famous for cutting trees, creating streets & name them Gulmohar, Amaltas, Deodar, Palm ……….

•    Paying 20k to have dinner with Kejriwal is like “Paying a psychologist, to be asked expensive questions, which your wife asks for nothing”

•    Today’s learning – “Open your mouth to speak only if you are convinced that it’s an improvement over silence”

•    What’s wrong with Kashmir? People are actually voting. The ‘Honest Leaders’ can no longer ‘buy’ an election. Too bad.

•    I recommend long walks, especially to those who annoy me…

•    The BJP called Mamata Di’s comments as “Unfortunate”. The countrymen call them a “Welcome hilarious distraction”

•    Veena Malik sentenced to 26 years in Pakistan for a TV serial. If only she could bomb a few cities to regain lost honour.

•    “SAARCti jaaye hai rukh se naqaab, ahista-ahista” ~ Modi to Sharif @ Kathmandu

•    Vaiko’s followers want to eat the cake & have ‘his’ too….

•    Young age : Farming greener pastures Middle age : Trying to mow whatever is left of the lawns

•    Had my inferiority complex been better, I would’ve been wearing it on my sleeve …

•    Customer care is like Tennis; those who serve well, seldom lose…

•    “Smriti Irani to be President!” ~ Astrologer In an unrelated news, Advani says he would be active till 2035

•    Those with a foot stuck in their mouth, find it difficult to run with the times.

•    “I stand for whatever I think people would fall for.” – MaoMata BanHerJee

•    Life was so much more fun, when we weren’t trying to make ourselves happy…

•    UP has more side effects of governance, than symptoms of ailment…

•    “For every dumb thing I’ve said, there are thousands I haven’t” ~ Azam khan

•    Facebook is developing ‘Facebook for work’. You can ‘officially’ screw your employer.

•    Every Sinha has a past, every saint a future !!!! (from the Byeble)

•    ISIS & Al Qaeda met for lunch, and decided to work together. In an unrelated news, non NDA parties just had lunch

•    मेरे पास गाडी है, बंगला है, सत्ता है, ताकत है, तुम्हारे पास क्या है ? मेरे पास MufflerMan है !!!

•    ‘Godman’ proved that he’s neither God, nor man…

•    Today is international toilet day. Rampal is holed up in Ashram. Both need to be Flushed, before use.

•    Innocent Sant Rampal is a ‘Private citizen’ with a private army…

•    “Australian parliament gave a standing ovation to Modi. They are all Ambani agents. Sab miley huey hai jee” ~ ErrWind CrazyWall

•    I quit my previous job over religious differences. My boss thought ‘he’s god’, and I didn’t.

•    ‘Kapal Bhati’ goes bullet proof. Ramdev gets Z plus security

•    Please download & print the 1200 pages report by environment ministry titled “Save trees”.

•    A ‘Status symbol’ is a symbol, not Status !!!!!

•    A new joinee in Sales has fudged mark sheets. We’ve moved him to HRD.

•    30 scientists have see Philae pics sent from 317 million miles away. 318 million have already seen Kardashian’s rear.

•    Children are proof that god hasn’t given up on mankind… #ChildrensDay

•    Vaiko blames Modi & demands that Rohit Sharma be sent to Sri Lanka to free Indian fishermen.

•    RaGa calls SwachhBharat a failure. He either wants to be PM, or Rajdeep Sardesai

•    “Rain or sunshine, two people can share an Umbrella if they huddle close” ~ SharedPower Aka Sharad Pawar

•    May your life be long & useful as a roll of toilet paper… #swachhBlessing

•    PM Modi is now on Instagram. Now the pictures would speak more than the many thousand words..

•    Dear Shiv sena, ‘Dharma’ it is, not Drama…

•    Karaoke parties have 2 sets of aberrations. (1) People who shouldn’t drink (2) People who shouldn’t sing.

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