Quotes

•    Irony at its best!!!! 90 people have swine flu, everyone wants to wear a mask!!! Millions have Aids and no one wants to use precaution!!!!!!!… Read this on my friend’s fb update….realized its damn true..so sharing it.. 🙂

•    the “swine” hits “kaminey”..

•    Where are the Shrill notes of Barkha Dutt & Sagarika Ghosh when some reality TV show is planning to exploit little unsuspecting children in the company of publicity starved half nut, celeb-aspirants..?????????????

•    It cant get any more hilarious. The MP caught in the ‘cash for query’ scam is re-elected, and the prosecution has decided to register cases against the Journalists for having unearthed the deeds of our leaders. Jai HO !!!!!

•    Breaking News:Pfizer Corp. announces the new Viagra in liquid form, to be marketed by Pepsi, POWER beverage div. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a STIFF-HARD one. Pepsi won’t be SOFT drink anymore, and it gives new meaning to the names of “COCKTAILS”, “HIGHBALLS” and just a good old-fashioned “STIFF drink”. Pepsi has decided to name it: MOUNT & DO

•    for a change, the weatherman was right today…. raining buffaloes n bisons again.. the cats n dogs were the last time…

•    Breaking news: Laloo being made the Aviation minister. Coz he is the only one who can make sun when the hay shines.. moooooooo….

•    New satyam Rhyme : twinkle twinkle BRITTLE star, how I wonder what a JERK U are, up above the law so high, like a Plunder of the pie !!!

•    News-“Govt. fears losing SC/ST votes if they initiate action against Buta Singh”….cho chweeeet(y) singh problem.. this Singh is not King !!!!!

•    Manzil ka raasta khwaishon ke dehleez se khulta hai, woh hasrat hi kya jo aasmaan se neeche udhta ho !!!

•    I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day

•    dhoop mein bhi saaya hoga aisa lagta hai, unki yaadein na ayengi ab, aisa lagta hai…. khwaish hum karte hai kyon, kis se poochenge, poocha tha saaye se, dhoop mein lagta hai..

•    dard ka hadh se guzar jaana hi dawa hai….

•    good news galore since the last 48 hours…

•    Indian cricketers would soon be cut to size….

•    UP government allocates 27 crores for new statues, but nothing for the drought relief. seems “Garibi nahin, garibon ko hatao”… Behanji ke bhaiyon ne behan @^*$% diya policy ka..

•    Meira kumar proves that neither a booming voice, nor shrill rhetoric need be the tools to be heard… hope the Benehji, didi, lalu, lala, amar, Bigoted Junta party, commune party of Interest etc. take note.

•    TGIF was 72 hours back.. its OSIM now… Oh Sh*t, its Monday…

•    4 letter words randomly being used by the Abmani family – “BHAI”… Anil to mukesh – “Bhai, mere paas maa hai”… Mukesh- “Bhai, tum maa rakho, mere paas Gas, teil (oil) aur retail hai..”

•    dhoop mein bhi saaya hoga aisa lagta hai, unki yaadein na ayengi ab, aisa lagta hai; khwaish hum karte hai kyon, kis se poochenge, poocha tha saaye se, dhoop mein lagta hai..

•    When the going gets tough, the kingfisher tries to roost in the hawks nest !!!!! Bailout ! Bailout !

•    jab tak darte rahe tujh se ae zindagi, na sukoon, na tazurba haasil hua; Kaun kehta hai ke har manzil ka safar yaadgaar na hua.

•    Saamne hai jo usse, log bura kehte hai, Jisko dekha bhi nahin, usko Khuda kehte hai. Waqt ke saath saath mera khuda bhi badalta raha, jo kal tak khuda tha, usko juda karte hai.

•    Anil ke plans par bhaiyya ne gas pher diya….. shakuni mama blamed for adding oil to fire… tina didi shed a tear for the cameras … bade bhaiyya Amit & chhote bhaiyya Amar missing in action.. chorus: “bas itna sa khwab hai”

•    Breaking news: COmmonwealth games rowing n aquatics events to be hosted @ Dwarka underpass…. after yesterday’s rains, it has more water than any lake around.

•    Sneak preview: Haryana tourism starts a new campaign a la Kerala – The slogan is – “God’s own dis-owned country”..&.. “the only culture we have here is agriculture”

•    whoever coined ‘raining cats n dogs’… it rained bisons n buffaloes yesterday…

•    However Disconcerting this might be, but a different perspective of the demographics… and to top it all, we in India want to create a separate “Minority affairs” ministry, further fermenting (-)ve-ism…

•    where have the human ailments gone? We only now have mad cows, bird flu, swine flu, monkey fever, rat flu etc.etc. Return of the Jedi !!!!!

•    Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” – ~ Dave Barry

•    When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, When tears flows from your eyes always say these words……..Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…

•    One word can make a difference.. Manmohan Singh wishes he had used the F*&# word, rather than Baloochistan..

•    Americans in their natural behavioural pattern – CRAZY… almost lost a piece of the bum, a la Lehman

•    Breaking news: SPG announces recruitment of 50,000 guards shortly. They would be deployed to guard the 1000 statues of Behanji, coz BSP MPs want special protection for the statues.

•    an apple every day, might give you an ear ache !!!!!!

•    A brilliant concept used by BMW… product and human attributes surface well in the communication..

•    Kasab confessed when he was told that he was chosen the celebrity guest on the new TV serial on NDTV – “Mayawati ka Swayamvar”.. and he was likely to win 🙁

•    Breaking news: Would Laloo now blame Nitish for the SOlar eclipse eluding Patna??

•    UP governement felled 5000 trees around the Taj Mahal and are allowing blatant real estate development with special facility of spewing sewerage directly into “Jamunaji”.
•    Only saving grace – “No statues of both varieties of ELEPHANT on that stretch”.. con

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