Quotes

•    My gym instructor feels I have 6 pegs Abs….

•    Before I could return my loan, Termites ate them…..

•    Often, God decides to remain anonymous !!!!

•    “Is DDA capable of creating smart cities in Delhi?” I would participate in a panel discussion on NDTV PRIME this evening @ 1900 hrs.

•    Today’s learning ~ “Even a mosquito doesn’t get a slap on it’s back, till it gets working”.

•    Deve Gowda dreamt of Janata Dal ‘Awakening’ while he slept through the meeting…

•    Lodhi road was a clean place till Satish Upadhyay decided to do something about it… #SwachchBharat

•    The Congress party has more mentors than mentees. That’s the problem…

•    Every morning is the Dawn of a new error !!!!

•    I am at a TV studio & it’s calm here. Are Kejru & Diggy on ‘Maun Vrat’ today?

•    Television is called a ‘medium’ because it is neither ‘Rare’ nor ‘Well Done’.

•    I am losing my hair. AchcheDin aane wale hai, I won’t have Bad Hair days ahead…

•    Bachelor [bach-uh-ler, bach-ler] A man who is not, and has never married; probably the only one who can claim not to have lied to his wife

•    The Communist party passed a resolution. The good news is that they finally ‘passed’ something.

•    She : What keeps you busy these days? Me : Lethargy #TrueConversations

•    People treat the world as if they have a spare in their trunk… #swachhbharat #gurgaon

•    Self-help “Groups”. Are you serious?

•    Q : “Ek aadmi ka naam bataon jiske kadmon ke neeche se zameen nahi nikal sakti” A : Robert Vadra 🙂 🙂

•    AbracaVadra !!! Are U serious? Are you Nuts?

•    Diplomacy is the art of issuing “strongly worded letters” …

•    Ran for freedom, Run everyday to exist, run everyone down, Tripped everyone to “run for unity”. We are but ‘A nation caught running’ !!!!

•    Who’s begging to be invited by ‘Bhikari’ ??

•    There is more meat in a “Johny Rocket Burger” than some of these models walking the ramp….

•    To err is human. To be a complete idiot is Yasin Malik

•    Kejriwal spotted with Muffler. Met deptt announces winter.

•    Outlook ‘Bleak’ in real estate industry. Only thing that rises unaided, is the SenSex…

•    An old story but here is something to add to the Black comedy doing the rounds in the swachch Bharat. Perhaps an irony like this–coming from Swiss –should add to the mirth.

•    I no longer need a career. Just seek a pay cheque every month.

•    When we meet in hell, where would you ask me to go?

•    The FM better provide ‘good sound reasons’, not reasons that sound good .. #BlackMoney

•    BK Thekedar, recently appointed minister in Haryana has independent charge of ‘Co operation & printing & stationary’. That’s some responsibility !!!!

•    Bilawal : “Dad, I will get Kashmir”. Mr.10% : “Beta, whatever U get, dont forget my commission”.

•    Pit stop….

•    Saturday afternoon ‘Business discussions’ help the company travel many a mile…

•    Mai = Me Appan = Father Tu jaanta nahi mera baap kaun hai? Gurunath Meiappan

•    I went into the store to buy a stereo. Salesman to me -“sir, sunoge ya pehnoge?” #PKTeaser

•    With all the litter around, Swachch bharat abhiyan has gone to the gods… oops, Dogs.

•    Management gyan ~ All play and no work makes Jack, a Jill …

•    Smriti Irani distributes 15000 sarees. Damn, she took advantage of the Flipkart sale..

•    Express yourself !!!!

•    “Madam won’t make any announcement” said the press release. Wait, isn’t that an announcement?

•    “The people of Maharashtra are sick n tired of leaders who have been around far too long, without any responsibility & accountability, living in palatial building created by their forefathers through ‘might’, selling centuries old traditions to gullible public, who are lapping up the rants of the progeny as gospel” ~ Shove Sena supremo #PunIntended

•    “If you have an itchy ass, stop biting your fingernails”. AAP sun rahe hai na?

•    To protect our democracy, we need a ‘By poll’ immediately. #PunIntended

•    Breaking news : Congress blames BJP of campaigning during elections. Seriously?

•    Why would anyone fight elections to be the ‘Leader of Opposition’?

•    Vinod Mehta is trending. He has a different ‘Outlook’ about everything …

•    “With his attitude, he can’t win an election, let alone the war against ISIS” ~ a senior terrorist about Omar …. #Kashmir #Pun

•    Three things happen when you get older; firstly, you start losing your memory, then …….. err.. umm…. whatever

•    Bailalitha !!!!

•    There are three pillars of democracy – Judiciary, Executive, and Legislative. At this rate, they too might get renamed to Mukherjee, Nehru & Tendulkar

•    Keep talking; Someday you would speak something intelligent.

•    This Modi is a Tyrant. पहले बड़ो से झाडू छीना, अब बच्चो से ‘Jupiter Velocity’…

•    I’ve stopped admiring my FB friends, in front of my wife. Can’t afford to get ‘Tharoor-ed’.

•    Those who don’t go to the gym, die. Those who go, don’t live long. Choose your exercise well !!!!

•    A recent survey shows half of Delhi found Kejriwal as CM, “ineffective”. The other half said ~ “What, he was the CM?”

•    “Every nation deserves it’s Sanjay Jha” – Sassy Tharoor

•    My kids brighten up my home. They always forget to switch off the lights…. #rerun

•    capitalism [kap-i-tl-iz-uh m] Noun A system where wealth is generated by a few, to produce arms to ferment wars, so that their young can fight in far off places, while the govt. prefers to rescue defaulting Banks & Wall street #dictionarymeaning

•    Off roading afternoon..

•    Huddud karte ho aap bhi….

•    Men have two emotions -Hungry & Horny. Fasting for them quells neither … #karvachauth

•    Ever since Obama got the Nobel Peace prize, he’s added a piece of Iraq, a piece of Syria, a piece of Afghan to his shelf !!!!!

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