Quotes

•    Had I been Micromax, this would’ve been my ad today….

•    The word ‘HorseTrading’ was created for ‘AssTrading’ sounds immoral

•    Is this news true, or you heard it on TV?

•    Dear Godman, if there is a God, you are not him !!!!

•    Kashmiri separatists need be forced to take the ‘Ice bucket challenge’ They have messed up for far too long…..

•    A clean house indicates either of the two : a) An efficient housemaid b) A broken computer

•    Breaking: Ambati Rayudu blames Modi for yesterday’s match. Joins AAP

•    All work & no play is an average Monday….

•    Note to self : “You have the right to remain silent, PLEASE SHUT UP…”

•    Management gyan ~”If you do everything right, others dump their work on you”

•    Fitness Gyan : It’s hard to be fit as a ‘Fiddle’ when you are shaped like a ‘Harmonium’

•    Vijay Mallya is running out of other people’s money…. #Kingfisher

•    Everyday I share my ignorance with you. I’ve got plenty.

•    NaMo spoke to children on teachers day. RaGa would speak to teachers on children’s day.

•    Many a politicians could’ve been prevented by good teachers.. #HappyTeachersDay

•    Farmer : “we hardly get electricity for 3 hrs per day” RaGa : “Power is poison”

•    Those who crib about ‘lack of entertainment’, should watch news channels…

•    Someone wet his pants @ the CBI HQ. No,no, that does not count as an official leak….

•    When you ‘Long’ for money, life seems too ‘Short’…..

•    “Polarization” is the second most used words in India, after the 4 letter F word…. both are needlessly infused by the English literati into daily conversations….

•    Me ~ “This Graffiti is everywhere. Need to do something” He ~ “I agree. Italian food is spreading. Need promote Indian food”

•    Mayawati has announced “Modi’s foreign policy is an utter failure”. She’s qualified to anchor a talk show on NDTV

•    Sanjha Jha’s the only one who answers Arnab Goswami’s questions before they are asked….

•    Naya Pakistan? Gaya Pakistan !!!!

•    Thoda aur Gyan : “If you want to get along, Go along !”

•    Management Gyan : Other people’s tools work only in other people’s garden…

•    Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.

•    Kumar Vishwas beats Johny Lever to the best stand up comedian award..

•    “1.5 cr people provided accidental insurance in a day” ~ PM Poverty is no longer a “state of mind” !!!!

•    I took the Ice bucket challenge. It didn’t last more than 3 drinks….

•    I have the most secure job in the world. No one else wants it …

•    Dear AAP, Governance is about taking decisions. You cannot rely on ‘Phone-a-friend’ OR ‘Audience poll’ ..

•    “Z plus Security is not about how much you have, but what you can do without” ~ Sangeet Som

•    Parents try to teach ‘Good manners’ to their kids, but kids end up imitating their parents….

•    When I moved in to Delhi, I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now, I just shuffle amongst the lost….

•    People hug each other & kiss the air. How lazy !!!!

•    Most times, I can make out the character of the man, by his signature. And sometimes even his name.

•    Certes Gyan : “Any business that makes nothing but money is bad business”

•    Religious debates are like kids fighting over who is the strongest – Batman, Superman or Bruce Lee

•    Love poem – “I am so miserable without you that it almost feels like you were here”

•    An incomplete status update is like a day without …

•    Cricket was once a rich man’s sport. Now, it has thousands of poor players …

•    Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious…

•    हर बात पर कानून झाड़ते हो … Wonder if you were created out of an act of law…

•    Kerala CM announces ‘ChandyCrush’ for Tipplers….. Bad Oommen for Mallus

•    This morning, my gym had this announcement ~ “Free weights today”. I took home three…

•    My wife asked me to clean the house. I swept the room with a glance….

•    Certes Gyan : “Either have a cushy chair, or have great shoes. If you aren’t in one, you better be in the other”

•    Dear lady in the car ahead, you are driving a car, not a beauty parlour, telephone booth & restaurant put together….

•    ” I’ve spent a lot of money on books, bikes & babes; the rest I just squandered” ~ Anonymous

•    India has changed. Comedians sell social messages on Sony & Colors; Politicians make us laugh on news channels…

•    Certes Gyan : “If you must lie, be brief”

•    “India’s loss to England in cricket – media & Spectators are to be blamed” ~ Ravi Shastri’s report inspired by A K Anthony

•    “It’s funny when one insists on talking, while the other is interrupting” ~ #IndoPaktalks

•    Breaking news : Mr. A K Anthony to write a book on the poll debacle titled ~ “One report is not enough”

•    Certes Gyan : “Knowledge & vegetables are alike. If you can’t sell it, give it free, lest both rot.”

•    Dear Mr. Geelani, I am no expert to understand how you maintain your stupidity, but it doesn’t work anymore …

•    “A big breakfast, and I can stay without food for the remainder of the day”. I have these thoughts till lunchtime….

•    Dear Mr. Modi, the enemy attacks only on two occasions ; When he’s ready, and when you are not !!!

•    If you have nothing good to talk about anyone, get on TimesNow and say it anyways…..

•    I finally got my thumb on the problem. Sadly, the problem had outgrown the thumb…

•    “Except when I am losing, I am always winning” ~ M S Dhoni

•    When Modi says “Make in India”, he meant Scotch, not Scotch Brite….

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