Quotes

•    My driver took a sudden U turn on the road. Me ~ “WTF was that?” He ~ “Sir, Kejriwal’s birthday today”

•    Ability need no flower of speech !!!!

•    Tomorrow, from the Red fort, we would be reminded “How better we could’ve been” !!!!

•    Priyanka is the only Gandhi who announces her denial & exit strategy, before entering the fray….

•    “Research” is what I call the activity when I have no clue what I am doing…

•    God created mankind. Man was forever fighting with strangers. To confine fights indoor, he said “Let marriages happen”.

•    Breaking news – “A US presidential candidate is rumoured to have slept with an Ex President to get into the White house”

•    One kid makes you a parent, two kids, and you are a referee !!!!

•    Tata wohi jo Sia mann bhaye….

•    2 holidays wasted this year. Both Rakshabandhan & GoodFriday fell on a Sunday…..

•    Smriti Irani to release her autobiography ~ “Six degrees are not enough”. Foreward by Natwar Singh

•    When I talk to myself, I’m assured ‘Someone’s listening’ ….

•    “True friends are those who cheer you, when you make an Ass of yourself, but also share the dais when you make a spectacle out of it” ~ Bihar Politicians

•    Management Gyan : “Never buy the car you can’t push !!”

•    The best way to get back on your feet ~ “MIss an ICICI bank EMI”

•    AlFaltu Aligarh….

•    This status update intentionally left blank…

•    Management Gyan: Use whatever talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

•    My judgement is so poor that the management has agreed to cover it under MNREGA….

•    हिंदुस्तान में, social media दो चीज़ों से चलता है; एक मोदी दूसरा बकचोदी….

•    Most self made people are in love with their creator… #AajKaObservation

•    For all those who are trying to lose weight, remember ~ “Rome was not un-Built in a day”

•    I don’t believe in any truth you may say. I am a Kejriwal supporter….

•    Will you fraandsheep me?

•    What we eat don’t cause Ulcers, What’s eating us does…..

•    My Lawyer advised me not to update status…

•    I still don’t recall the last time I forgot something…..

•    Sonia Gandhi has started writing her book. She’s starting with the Disclaimer…

•    Sonia Singh writes a book about ‘Natwar’ Gandhi….

•    “The marriage was grand, the separation is 400 grand” ~ Hrithik Roshan

•    Little boy : “Dad, how much does it cost to get married?” Dad : “Don’t know son, I am still paying!”

•    “If AM = Absolute moron, I don’t think I need to explain FM” Inspired by Kejriwal, on radio….

•    My Poem dedicated to Sania Mirza’s crying performance on TV “Birdie in the sky, dropped poop in the eye, thank god for small mercies, Indian Elephants don’t fly”

•    When I am doing nothing in office, I wonder when would my work finish..

•    Early to rise, and early to bed, make the man healthy n wise, was happy once, now wed & socially dead !!!

•    The Israelis announced a 5 hours ceasefire for food & water. That’s like allowing the lamb to eat before slaughter….

•    God created man with two ends, one to sit on, one to think with. Itihaas gawaah hai, success is determined by the end used most ….

•    Management Gyan to HR : “I am not easily scared. I am married !”

•    My 8 yr old son thinks Parliament is the place where MPs get together to decide adjournments for the day…

•    Meeting Gyan: “Feel free to let you mind go blank. Just turn off the sound”

•    Give a Shiv Sena man a fish, you’ll feed him for a day. Give him a roti, he would try & feed a Maharashtra Bhavan attendant..

•    Management Gyan : “If the enemy is in range, so are you!”

•    Since you don’t take me seriously, this update has Gaza, Ukraine, Modi, MNREGA, budget, LoP…

•    ISRO’s latest rocket has been named ‘SARKARI BABU’. It doesn’t work, and they can’t fire it…

•    iShant Sharma has been signed by Apple to endorse products that perform once in 5 years…

•    Everything is OK in the end. If it’s not Ok, be sure, it’s the end !!!

•    “RaGa is extremely capable. He is implementing our vision” – BJP

•    Had being a mother been so easy, father’s would’ve done it….

•    The hearts of many leaders bleeds for the middle east… Some actually stepped out of their bar between 9 to 9.30 PM to criticise the insensitivity of the world…

•    TV reporter : Sir, can U come to the studio for a 9 PM debate? Me : It’s raining She : Can I hook you up on phone? Me : I have poured a drink She : One drink don’t kill Me : 9 PM is 90 minutes away She : The nation doesn’t want to know the Truth tonite…

•    Dear lady @ Trident hotel, can I expect a face under the make-up?

•    My life seems to be written by Wren & Martin. The past seems perfect, and the present tense….

•    I never had a problem keeping your secrets. The people I share with, can’t….

•    Management Gyan : “If you are in a hole, stop digging”

•    I look forward to procrastination… Tomorrow is always busy

•    Some cause happiness Wherever they go. Some Whenever they go !!!!

•    I’ve just written my “Oughtobiography”. These are the list of things I ought to have done….

•    Rural India had a unique concept of gender equality. Women are free to do whatever their husbands tell them to..

•    Tragedies end with the protagonist Dead. Comedies end with the protagonist Married !!!

•    Management Gyan : “Confessions build the soul, by screwing the career”

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57